Listening a Person into Life: Reflective Listening
Video 12
Summary
In reflective listening we act as a mirror for the other person, helping her to uncover what is really in her heart. Explore the power of reflective listening in the process of accompaniment.
Scripture for Reflection
“The purpose in a man’s mind is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.” (Proverbs 20:5)
“If one gives answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.” (Proverbs 18:13)
“So whatever you wish that men would do to you, do so to them; for this is the law and the prophets.” (Matthew 7:12)
“He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.” (Revelation 3:22)
Reflection Questions
- Was there a word, phrase, or idea that resonated with me? That was new to me?
- Sister Amata Filia says that we don’t always need to solve a problem or have an action step at the end of a conversation. Some conversations may just be about venting – a time that gives a person a sense that she isn’t alone. Who do I turn to when I need to vent? How does venting to that person make me feel?
- How do you typically respond when you’re facing a big problem or challenge? Are there any techniques you’ve found helpful in resolving major life obstacles or challenges? Think about an experience in which a conversation with another person helped you discover and articulate your own thoughts and feelings. How did this experience help you understand yourself more deeply? How did it help you understand the situation and help you move forward? How exactly did that happen in the course of the conversation?
- What listening skill(s) do I want to focus on in my daily conversations with others?
- What areas of authentic listening can I work on in my own prayer life – my dialogue with God?
- Take a moment to pray again the prayer from the end of the video:
Thank you, Lord, for the gift of our capacity to listen.
Thank you for the gift of being heard and understood, by others, and by you.
Help us to give the gift of ourselves in really listening to others, to reverence them and communicate to them your love and their infinite worth.
Help us to train the ears of our heart by listening to you in prayer, by steeping ourselves in your love for us so that we can give that same love to every soul we encounter.
Amen.
- Is there a fruit from my prayer that I would like to share with others?
Discussion Questions
- Is there a fruit from your prayer that you would like to share with others?
- Sister Gianna Marie clarifies that reflecting is low risk because if we are wrong, the other person will likely correct us. How might this understanding of reflective listening give you the freedom to listen authentically?
- Why is it so important to withhold judgment and act as a mirror for the other person?
- How have these videos on listening inspired you to listen to others in a new way?
Videos
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1
Summoned To Life: Spiritual Foundations
In his goodness, God calls each human person into existence with infinite intention, care, and love. Explore what it means to be created by God, in his image and likeness.
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2
Seeing Reality: The Contemplative Outlook
God invites us to see ourselves, others, and the world differently. Learn what it means to cultivate a contemplative posture of heart that sees God present in all creation.
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3
This is God’s Work: The Power of Prayer
Proclaiming the sanctity of life is a work that belongs to all of us, but it is primarily God's work. Explore how prayer is the foundation and cornerstone of a culture of life.
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4
Vulnerability: An Identity Crisis
A woman who is unexpectedly pregnant may experience profound vulnerability. Ponder this reality and learn how genuine accompaniment can transform fear into hope.
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5
Hope and Fear: Understanding the Heart of a Pregnant Woman
A woman who knows she is loved can do anything. Learn more about the fears and hopes of a pregnant woman and how to genuinely accompany her.
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6
Exodus from Fear: Accompanying Her to Life
A woman struggling with the reality of her pregnancy needs someone who believes in her and in her goodness. Explore how genuine accompaniment creates the space a woman needs to make a truly free choice in love.
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7
Rejoicing in Her: Our Disposition of Heart
Do we see the person before us as a project or as a beloved daughter of God with her own dreams and her own destiny? Reflect on the three essential dispositions of the heart needed to accompany a person in crisis: prayer, leisure, and delight.
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8
Maternity is Forever: Hope and Healing After Abortion
Abortion can lead to a deep sense of loss and to profound emotional, spiritual, psychological, and relational pain. Explore how abortion affects the heart of a woman and how to accompany her on the journey of healing.
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9
Maternity is Forever: Adoption
Adoption can be a beautiful choice when it emerges organically in the heart of a woman. Learn more about adoption, and the tremendous discernment, maturity, and strength it requires.
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10
Listening a Person into Life: The Art of Being Present
Listening is a unique set of skills that demonstrate we understand a person’s thoughts and feelings. Reflect on the power of listening in the work of accompanying another person.
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11
Listening a Person into Life: How to Listen Well
Good listening allows us to hear what another person is really saying without applying the filter of our own experience, judgment, values, and needs. Explore the process of active listening, the five levels of listening, and common barriers to listening.
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12 - Active
Listening a Person into Life: Reflective Listening
In reflective listening we act as a mirror for the other person, helping her to uncover what is really in her heart. Explore the power of reflective listening in the process of accompaniment.