Maternity is Forever: Adoption

Scripture for Reflection

“For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the spirit of sonship. When we cry, ‘Abba! Father!’, it is the Spirit himself bearing witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.” (Romans 8:15-17)

“We know that the whole creation has been groaning in travail together until now; and not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.” (Romans 8:22-25)

“I will be a father to you, and you shall be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.” (2 Corinthians 6:18)

“But when the time had fully come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons.” (Galatians 4:4-5)

“For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

Reflection Questions 

1. Was there a word, phrase, or idea that resonated with me? That was new to me?
2. Sister John Mary, SV says that “many people think that the obvious answer to the problem of abortion is adoption. But the reality is that, although it is a very beautiful option, today it is a very infrequent option.” How have I viewed adoption? Has this video changed or altered my understanding of adoption in any way? If so, how?
3. St. Paul writes, “We have received the spirit of sonship” (Romans 8:15). As baptized Christians, we are adopted sons and daughters of God. Have I pondered the profundity of this reality? Take time now to ponder the awesome truth that you are a beloved child of God, ransomed from death by the blood of Jesus. How does this understanding change the way I approach my life?
4. Sister Marie Veritas, SV says that “women often perceive adoption as the worst of their options, because they see it as being a ‘bad mother’, one who ‘gave their child away’. A woman often equates adoption with failure.” What are the times in my life when I felt that I failed? Was I tempted to let myself be defined by that perceived failure? How can my experience of failure help me to better understand many women’s struggle to consider adoption?
5. Sister Marie Veritas says, “Adoption is not a denial of feeling but an act of love” and that “it's okay if a woman cries; it's okay if she's emotional throughout the process.” Why is it so important to make space for another’s emotions? How does attending to my own emotional state help me to more fully and authentically accompany others?  
6. Is there a fruit from my prayer that I would like to share with others? 

Discussion Questions

1. Is there a fruit from your prayer that you would like to share with others?
2. Sister Marie Veritas speaks about how “placing for adoption does not mean renouncing motherhood. Maternity is forever. Therefore, it is important to be sensitive to this reality when speaking about adoption. We never use the language of ‘giving up’ or ‘giving away’ a child, but rather ‘making a plan for the child’s life’ or ‘placing or entrusting the child with a family.’” Why is it so important to be sensitive in our language regarding adoption? How can the way we speak about adoption change the understanding of adoption?
3. Sister John Mary says, “It is…important to know that, although it might be tempting or seem like good advice, we have found that it is never helpful to suggest to a mother that she consider adoption, no matter how desperate her circumstances.” Does this come as a surprise to you? Why is it so important to allow a woman to initiate any discussion about adoption? What might a woman likely hear about her own self if we suggest she place her child for adoption? How is this different than if a woman brings up considering an abortion?
4. Sister Marie Veritas says, “Our role is to allow ourselves to deeply experience the goodness of this woman, to reflect that goodness back to her, to be a place and person of encouragement, and most importantly, to hold out hope that God's plans for her and her child are good and beautiful.” How does our availability and openness create the space for a woman to discern freely and truly?